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Brilliant satire from the Lutheran side

A friend sent me this link to a brilliant satire by a Lutheran (the Lutheran interest in writing such a piece is explained in the linked post) "recommending" temple prostitution as a solution to various problems in the church. The reference to the little drummer boy is my only excuse for posting the link during the twelve days of Christmas, but I have deliberately waited a couple of days after Christmas Day itself.

Despite the "mature readers" warning at the top of the First Things post, the piece contains no offensive language or description. You obviously don't want your child or young person who is unaware of controversies surrounding homosexuality and Christianity or who does not know what prostitution is to be reading the post, but that's the only restriction I would recommend. My favorite quotation from it is probably

Sure, there are a handful of Bible verses that might seem to condemn the practice. But all the condemnation of temple prostitution involves pagan practices or worship of false gods. The objectionable thing is the idolatry, not the physical act itself. Sanctified, faithful prostitution in service of the true God is a new thing. The Biblical writers never foresaw or contemplated sanctified, faithful, God-pleasing prostitution in the churches and thus never wrote about it. Attempts to find a Biblical injunction against the practice therefore fall short.

It also made me laugh to see the classically liberal repetition throughout the article of the entire list of ridiculous adjectives--"sanctified, faithful, God-pleasing" followed by "prostitution."

Comments (11)

It's satire now. Just wait a few years. Seems a good occasion to link to this old RR post of mine:


Wow, thanks for bringing that back, Ed. That discussion was really first rate, with my colleague Alex Pruss mixing it up with the ever-ready Bobcat.

Thanks, Frank -- as you can see, I decided to re-post the whole thing here at W4.


On a more serious note...

Bringing Heiros Gamos into the church would arguably make blasphemy of the Holy Spirit an institution...

You (perhaps mistakenly) assume that religious liberals would necessarily find temple prostitution to be absurd. P

Oh, just read Ed's comment. Good job, Ed.

That's hilarious and very witty. Thanks for sharing.

Taylor Marshall

The original article was outstanding, but frightening. I have a few liberal friends who wouldn't even cry "Slippery slope" but would already think it was a good idea.

Justin, I hope that's not true. These are ostensibly _Christian_ liberal friends? Do they regard themselves as evangelicals or what?

No, I have to confess I was really thinking of a particular atheist friend of mine who has been blessed with many opinions on Christianity which he frequently shares with me. He would think this was a fantastic idea and wonder why we weren't doing it.

Lydia, it occurs to me that we have run into quite a number of "Christians" who are unable to realize that the end does not justify the means is a Christian principle, and who therefore are always willing to look to the long range hopes, intentions, goals and ideas of the person before deciding whether the act was good or bad, no matter what act it is. For these, if you give them a high enough amount of money for some act, they will entertain doing the act by looking at all the good things that can be done with the money. George Bernard Shaw showed us what to call these: "Madam, we have already established what you are, we are merely quibbling about the price."

I am relatively confident that there are "Christians" out there who, if confronted with a 100 million dollar fee, would be capable of turning themselves inside out in supporting the new prostitution avenue mentioned. Sadly.

Tony, that's a terrifying thought. But I am no longer young enough and innocent enough to reject it out of hand. In just the past few years, I have seen to much pretzel-twisting to justify the unjustifiable.

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